Stress Free Potty Training

This book takes an interesting and useful approach to finding the right way to potty train children: personality types. In effect, each child has their own individual personality and as such, learns life skills in their own unique way. The book, written by Sara Au and Peter Savinoha and released in its current edition in 2008, explores several of the more common personality types in children and offers unique suggestions for potty training your child according to their individual needs. Overall, reviews have been very favorable as parents have found this approach to work fairly well. If you feel that an individual approach to potty training may be effective, have a detailed look at the content, reviews, and pricing.

Potty Train in Three Days

While I often discount many of the potty training methods that are expressly marketed based on teaching your child to potty train in a specific amount of time, Potty Training in Three Days by Lois Kleint offers a very realistic approach. In all honesty, I’m still somewhat skeptical of parents being lured into the promise of successfully potty training in three days. However, this book is not so much about completing the task in three days as it is setting aside the time to completely dedicate to potty training to start the process off right. As we’ve discussed before, this can be a very successful approach.

Ms. Kleint bases her approach to potty training on the concept of loving yet firm encouragement to help your toddler believe that they can be successful. One of the parent reviews on Amazon discusses the fact that many parents perhaps hold on too tightly and shelter their children, preventing them from developing the self-confidence required to learn life skills. We all have our own parenting philosophies, however, if you feel that encouraging your child to believe in their success is an attractive approach, you may want to learn more about this book.

The Potty Boot Camp

The Potty Boot Camp, written by Suzanne Riffel, is perhaps one of the most suitable potty training books for just “getting it done”. This method is very similar to the process which we used to potty train our children and most notably revolves around establishing a schedule for going to the potty on a regular and consistent basis and providing encouragement and praise at the right times during the process. While this method is best used during a “buckle down” period like a long weekend, it can be modified to suite various schedules. The book was actually very quick to read and established clear guidelines for setting up your child’s “potty boot camp” schedule. Some parents may struggle with the concept of expressing disapproval after accidents, however, the process for this is outlined in the book and it’s your decision as to whether or not you feel comfortable with this method. For those interested in a “no-nonsense” and time-efficient guide to potty training, check out further reviews and prices for Potty Boot Camp.

• The age at which your child starts potty training is unique to him or her. Don’t get caught up in exactly when your toddler’s friends or classmates are starting, but focus on your child’s unique developmental milestones and tune into when they are ready.
• Your readiness and preparation to undertake this task is as important, or more important, than when your child is ready. You need to decide when you are prepared to commit the time and energy. Your child will only be successful at potty training with your help and support.
• You don’t need to overwhelm yourself or your child with every potty training tool and book on the market. The more you complicate things, the more challenging it becomes. All you really need is a few “big kid” underpants, a good potty chair, and a little education prior to starting the process.
• Over 80% of toddlers experience some type of setback during potty training. The odds are good that it will happen to your child so when it does, be patient, loving, and supportive.
• No matter when you begin potty training, your child needs to be physically and developmentally capable of starting. They need to be able to walk themselves to the bathroom, or communicate to you when they’re ready to go.
• Additionally, the more readiness skills your child possesses, the quicker the process will go. Potty training can take anywhere from three months to a year and the more capable your child is, the less time it will take.
• And finally, keep in mind that 98% of children are daytime potty trained by the age of four. If your child starts potty training late, please don’t stress. It’s going to happen eventually.

And there you have it. Simple tips for simple potty training.

But what causes some toddlers to begin potty training later than others and what can you do about it? First off, don’t stress. All children become potty trained eventually and once your child picks it up, it’s likely to happen in a matter of a few days. And starting potty training late can actually have some advantages, such as increased verbal communication with your child during the process.

Causes of Late Potty Training

The factors that influence delayed toilet training are generally broken down into two categories: behavioral and biological.

For all biological causes, such as urinary tract infections, incontinence, and urethritis, it is important to consult with your child’s pediatrician as soon as possible to treat these conditions. Since these conditions are generally easy to remedy with proper medical care, treating them as soon as you recognize them is critical in preventing them from leading to behavioral issues. Many children who begin with a biological condition which is left untreated develop fear and discomfort with urinating and having bowel movements that make potty training much more difficult.

Behavioral factors that lead to delayed potty training can manifest in many different forms, however, are often the result of a single cause: power struggles between parent and child. Many toddlers develop resistance to a parent’s consistent urging to participate in the process of potty training. The best way to handle this as a parent is to take a few steps back, relieve the demands on your child, and create an environment that allows them to discover the process on their own and shift the responsibilities to them. Try leaving your toddler unclothed from the waist down and place their potty chair in an accessible area. In addition, you can gently introduce some potty training incentives to your child.

If your toddler is delayed in potty training, don’t worry. By visiting with your pediatrician to rule out any biological issues, and then moving on to addressing behavioral issues in a patient and consistent manner, your little one will be on the road to successful potty training.

Help Your Toddler Recognize Cues

If your toddler happens to be experiencing problems successfully having bowel movements on the potty, one of the first steps is to ensure that he or she understands the physical sensations that indicate that it’s time to go. For many toddlers, the physical sensation associated with bowel movements is not quite as instinctive in terms of telling him or her what to do as those associated with the urge to urinate.

The first step is to recognize those cues that you can associate with the urge to have a bowel movement. For many toddlers, this means grimacing, quietly sneaking away for some private time alone, or having a far away look on their face. Once you are able to identify these cues, show your toddler to the toilet and let them begin to associate the sensation with the need to have a bowel movement.

Find a Schedule

Another helpful suggestion in getting your toddler comfortable with having bowel movements on the toilet during potty training is to establish a scheduled time each day. As is the case with adults, many toddlers will tend to have bowel movements at or around the same time each day. Try to discover when this happens over the course of a few days and set aside 10 minutes or so to sit with your child in the bathroom. Establishing a potty training schedule can create a routine which your toddler may begin to associate with the urge to have a bowel movement.

The Constipation Blues

Almost nothing can instill potty training anxiety in a toddler faster than having difficulty passing a bowel movement. It can very easily cause them to become anxious, scared, and upset, and in some cases can lead to potty training regression. If your child begins to have trouble, you need to find ways to make the process easier and eliminate these difficulties.

The first step is to evaluate your child’s diet. Many foods can increase the likelihood of constipation such as cheeses and large quantities of dairy. Ensure that your toddler is receiving an adequate amount of fiber in his or her diet through fruits, veggies, and whole grains. It’s also essential that they are consuming enough fluids while potty training, but avoid the empty calories in sugary drinks such as sodas that have no nutritional value.

If your child is having difficulty with bowel movements while potty training, try these three tips and you’re likely to be on your way to success in no time!

Always Be Alert for Signs That Your Child Needs to Go
When you’re on the road, the brisk pace of travel can often be distracting. When potty training your toddler at home, you’re probably going to be pretty well in tune with the subtle cues that alert you to when it’s time to whisk your little one off to the bathroom. This isn’t always the case when traveling. You need to be sure that you’re able to recognize these little hints, no matter how unusual they may be, and be aware of them when you’re on the go.

Scout Out Restrooms BEFORE You Need Them
So this is a tip that you may have to learn the hard way. When your toddler decides it’s time to go, well, it’s probably going to be time to go RIGHT NOW! Whether you’re sightseeing or at an airport, take a minute or two to find out when you get to a new place exactly where the closest restrooms are located. This can go a long way in preventing accidents while traveling.

Practice With a Potty Ring Before You Hit the Road
One of the greatest things about potty training toddlers on an adult toilet with a potty ring is that it can be taken anywhere. However, if your child isn’t used to using a potty ring in the comfort of their own home, there’s a good chance they aren’t going to be comfortable with it once you put it in place in your hotel or host’s home. Take a little time to let your child get used to using the potty ring at home. We used the BabyBjorn Toilet Trainer as it was very convenient to transport and easy to wipe clean. For reviews and pricing, you can take a look at it on Amazon.

Don’t Be Afraid to Travel With Pull-Ups
While many parents feel that resorting to pull-ups once potty training is underway is a step backwards, they can make your life a lot easier when you’re on the go. Imagine being on a plane when the captain turns on the “fasten seatbelt” sign for two hours due to turbulence and your child is stuck in the seat with a box of apple juice and big kid underpants. You can probably see where this is heading.

While traveling with a potty training toddler may be a panic-inducing thought, a little planning and preparation before-hand can make the experience a little easier on both you and your child.

So what do you do if your child is not interested in, or perhaps rebels against potty training? Fortunately, as parents we are able to use subtle forms of bribery (alright so scientifically speaking it’s know as positive tangible reinforcement). For many toddlers, this can be just the right push they need to start getting excited about potty training.

One of the best tools to employ positive reinforcement in potty training toddlers is the use of a potty training chart and rewards system. This does not work for all children and in fact, in some cases it’s now always the best approach. However, if you follow a few simple tips for utilizing potty training charts, you’ll have a much better chance of successfully putting them into use.

• The first rule of thumb in using potty training charts is that you should really only employ a rewards if you feel that your child needs this encouragement. Ideally, we want children to enjoy the simple feeling of accomplishment they get from potty training. However, if you think your toddler needs a little push, you might want to start with the potty training chart.

• Once you decide to begin using a potty training chart, be sure to outline a clear plan and rules for its use and communicate these guidelines with your child as well as anyone else who will be involved in his or her potty training regimen. Decide what achievements you will use the stickers for and determine what the rewards will be along the way and at what intervals

• Locate a potty training chart that fits your timeline and rewards system. Weekly calendars are very common and accommodate enough days to reach specific potty training goals. However, one of our favorites is the Kenson Kids Reward and Responsibility System. It’s a daily chart with reusable stars which can be very effective during the first few days of potty training toddlers when you’re settled in for an entire weekend dedicated to the task. It’s currently available for $11.49 through Amazon. If you’re interested in product reviews you can find them there as well.

• Each step of the way, be sure to effectively communicate with your toddler. Ensure that they understand what they did correctly to receive the sticker and when the time comes, the reward. Positive reinforcement is based upon a clear understanding of goals and achievements and this is critical to successfully using this technique when potty training toddlers.

As with all potty training approaches, have patience and offer plenty of praise to your child. As we often discuss, this can be a stressful challenge for them, so you want to ensure that the process is light-hearted and fun. Follow these tips for effectively using potty training charts, and they can go a long way in encouraging your child to stay motivated throughout the process.

First, decide if you will plan to introduce nighttime potty training at the same time as your toddler will be learning to go to the potty during the day. Typically, if your toddler is beginning the process relatively late, then you’ll want to try to introduce both at the same time. However, with younger toddlers (18 months to 24 months), it’s best to break these down into two separate tasks.

Listed here are a few nighttime potty training “to-do’s” to help you get started with the process.

• The biggest step to success with nighttime potty training is eliminating the need to go to the bathroom as much as possible. This means limiting your toddler’s fluid intake for the two hours preceding bedtime.

• Second, since it’s very likely that your toddler goes to bed 2 or 3 hours before you do, it’s wise to get into the habit of quietly taking them to the potty right before you go to sleep for the night. If you can do this 2 to 3 hours into your toddler’s sleep without interrupting them too much (avoid turning on lights and lift them gently out of bed), you’ll be that much closer to morning.

• When getting your child ready for bedtime, put them in pajamas that are easily managed at night. No child can learn nighttime potty training if they can’t get in and out of their clothing on their own.

• If you plan to transition through nighttime potty training with diapers, pile on the praise on the mornings your child wakes up with a dry diaper. Remember, the ultimate goal of potty training at night is to eventually get your toddler to the point that they can actually sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the potty.

• If your toddler is potty trained during the day and you’re using diapers at night, always make an effort to remove the diaper as soon as your child wakes up in the morning and put them into underpants. You don’t want the process of nighttime potty training and the use of diapers to turn into a dependence on diapers during the first part of the morning and lead to any potty training regression.

While potty training at night can lead to some unique challenges and potential loss of sleep for parents of a toddler, by following these suggestions you’ll be on your way to success in no time!

Never Pressure Your Child

We’ve all felt the pressure sales pitch before. You’re somewhere just trying to browse around looking at cars, a fitness club, or clothing, and you really don’t NEED any of these things. You’re just there out of curiosity to take a look around and get a feel for things. However, the salesperson is really putting the pressure on you. “You just have to try this out.” “This would just be perfect for you.” And on and on until you’re so uncomfortable that you just walk away saying “I’m just fine, thank you very much.”

You see where this is going, don’t you? The more you pressure your child and attempt to “sell” potty training to him or her, the more uncomfortable they can become. And in turn, they tend to back off and say “I’m just fine in my diapers, thank you very much.” You need to let your child develop their own natural curiosity about potty training. This will go much further, much faster than forcing them to try using the potty on their own when they aren’t naturally interested.

Stay Focused

In our age of fast paced multi-tasking, it is far too easy to treat potty training as an added weekend activity to be checked off of the to-do list. However, potty training toddlers should be carried out with focused discipline. You need to commit your time, as well as the time of any other family members involved, to staying focused on the process of potty training. Try to set aside a 3-day weekend to begin the process and if you’re schedule permits, it’s even better to carry that momentum for an entire week.

You have to think of it like  this: the more time you commit to this process up front, the less time it is going to take. If you treat potty training as a secondary activity, it could drag on for weeks or months.

So there you have the top two tips for potty training toddlers. They seem so simple, but the key is to apply these and all other potty training lessons with consistency. If you take the time to invest in your child’s potty training from the beginning, they’ll have a much better chance of accomplishing this milestone in a short period of time.

Environmental Changes
Often, changes in surrounding environments can induce stress on children that can lead to issues, and in some cases, potty training regression. Environmental changes can take on a variety of different forms but can include moving homes, a change in schools or day care providers, or even extended travel.

With environmental factors, you aren’t often able to change the cause, but you do have some control over the effect. They keys to avoiding issues in this area that can lead to potty training problems are 1.) consistency in potty training routines, habits, and behaviors and 2.) providing a sense of positive excitement about the change. If your child gathers anticipation and excitement about the upcoming changes, there is less chance that this will interfere with other areas of their development, such as potty training.

New Siblings
This is closely related to environmental changes, however, the arrival of a new sibling can cause stress for a toddler which can cause them to lose interest in potty training and even occasionally have “accidents” for parental attention, whether negative or positive. If you have a new sibling on the way or one who has just arrived, be sure to continue to lavish praise and attention on your toddler even though the demands of a newborn are time-consuming. And rather than split up and have mom with the newborn and dad with the toddler, your child really needs attention from both parents.

Also, show your toddler just how helpful they can really be during this transition. Make them feel as though they have a necessary role in the baby’s life. With respect to potty training (or any other skill which you want to reinforce with your older child), one technique we used commonly was “watch your sister”. If we wanted our oldest to be proud of potty training or dressing herself, we would hold the baby and say “Now, watch how your big sister is such a big girl and can do _____ on her own.” She was always very proud to show off her new skill!

Parental Separation
Unfortunately, parental separation is not an uncommon occurrence and this can be a stressful time for children. This can lead to issues and regression in potty training along with many other areas. The keys here are love and consistency. During any type of family turmoil, you need to shower your child with love and affection. Additionally, keep your child’s routines consistent as much as possible. This extends beyond potty training into all areas of their day-to-day life.

Constipation and Illness
Physiological conditions such as constipation and bladder infections can actually scare toddlers away from the toilet. Painful sensations during urination or bowel movements can induce stress and your child doesn’t yet have the  cognitive skills to recognize that going to the bathroom and the episode at hand are mutually exclusive events. If you suspect your child has constipation or a urinary infection, seek treatment as quickly as possible. For constipation, this could be as simple as an over-the-counter laxative, however, if you suspect a urinary infection you’ll need to visit your pediatrician as soon as possible for the appropriate treatment.

Again, by being aware of the potential post potty training complications, you can address them as soon as they come up and ensure that your child is back on track in no time!

Patience is Key
The first step to success in potty training toddlers is having patience. You need to know up front that this process can often take quite a bit of time. If you have patience with your child throughout the process, including during the setbacks, your child’s confidence with themselves will be boosted. Additionally, if you’re trying a particular method of potty training and it doesn’t work, don’t stress out. Move on and try something else.

Age is Important
As you’ve likely heard, the ideal age range for potty training toddlers is between 18 months and 3 years. If you decide to start potty training prior to 18 months, you may face more difficulty than is necessary as your child isn’t quite physically capable of controlling their bowel movements or bladder. Generally, the longer you wait, the better your chances of success with the process.

Watch Closely for Sign of Potty Training Readiness
There are a few clues to watch for you help you know when your toddler is ready to begin the potty training process. These can include:

• Consistency in times of urination or bowel movements

• The ability to maintain a dry diaper for two or three hours at a time

• The ability to follow basic verbal commands

• Discomfort with wet or dirty diapers

• The ability to sit still for 10 minutes or longer

Items Needed for Potty Training Toddlers

• Pull-ups or underpants

• Potty training chart

• Potty training chairs in any bathroom your child may choose to use

• Rewards for potty training successes

Potty Training Rewards
Whether or not your parenting style frequently includes praise and rewards for the achievement of milestones, the use of rewards or “treats” is incredibly effective for potty training toddlers. If you praise and reward your toddler after each and every small success, your child will maintain much more interest in the process and find that potty training is actually fun, as opposed to fearsome and confusing.

As we’ve mentioned in previous articles, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to potty training toddlers. However, if you take some time to plan in advance and gather the tools and rewards that will make this process enjoyable for your child, you’ll achieve success in potty training your toddler in no time.